They don’t tell you this in premarital counseling, but romance has a funny way of competing with things like dirty dishes, late-night toddler wakeups, and that one drawer that’s always full of mystery batteries and expired coupons.
In the honeymoon phase, keeping the spark alive is effortless. You’re smitten. You’re well-rested. You still pretend not to notice each other’s weird bathroom habits.
But then real life sets in — and suddenly, date night turns into laundry night, and “I love you” gets replaced with “Did you feed the chickens?”
Here’s how to keep that spark glowing — even if it’s buried under a pile of unmatched socks and shared calendars.
1. Flirting Isn’t Just for Dating
Just because you’ve locked down the relationship doesn’t mean you should stop wooing each other. Send the text. Give the wink. Grab their hand when you’re walking through the produce aisle.
Small gestures remind your partner that they’re still your person — not just your roommate with shared Wi-Fi.
Try this: A silly love note on the fridge, a spontaneous compliment, or a slow dance in the kitchen (bonus points if there’s music playing).
2. Rethink “Date Night”
Let’s be real — most nights out now involve babysitters, planning, and a budget. But “date night” doesn’t have to mean reservations and heels.
A cozy backyard picnic, card games over cookies, or even watching a documentary while sharing a blanket counts — as long as you’re fully present.
No phones. No chores. Just two people who like each other. (Hopefully.)
3. Speak Their Love Language (Even If It’s Acts of Service and You Hate Dishes)
Learning each other’s love language — and actually using it — can go a long way. If your spouse feels most loved through words of affirmation, don’t just clean the barn and expect them to swoon. Say the sweet thing, too.
And if your love language is physical touch and theirs is quality time? Guess what? Netflix and cuddling might be the middle ground you didn’t know you needed.
Key move: Rotate who initiates the romance. Don’t wait for a grand romantic gesture — be the one who starts it.
4. Keep the Intimacy Real (and Realistic)
Intimacy isn’t always candles and Marvin Gaye (or Bruno Mars). Sometimes it’s just making eye contact while folding laundry or laughing at an inside joke during breakfast.
But yes, physical connection matters — even when you’re exhausted. So talk about it. Prioritize it. Protect time for it. And give each other a little grace when things don’t go as planned.
Spoiler alert: Real life is rarely sexy… but real love often is.
5. Show Up, Even on the Off Days
Marriage isn’t all fireworks and fondue. Some days are messy. Some weeks are long. Some months are made up entirely of mismatched moods and soggy leftovers.
But showing up for each other — especially when it’s inconvenient — is a form of romance that lasts longer than any bouquet.
Final Thought: Sparks Fade, but Fire Takes Work
The spark? It’s lovely. But the real magic happens in the quiet, consistent ways you show up for each other day after day. It’s less about butterflies and more about building a bonfire — one you both tend to, even when the wind picks up.
So flirt a little. Kiss more. Laugh at the ridiculous. And don’t be afraid to make room for romance in between the chaos.
Because love doesn’t die in routine — it grows roots there.
A Life on the Farm is beginning a new series on keeping love alive…even when you feel like strangling it. Join us below and don’t miss one second of spreading the love.
MORE WAYS TO CONNECT
We also, as a homesteading family, have a variety of blogs that might interest you. A Life on the Farm focuses on the more personal side of the homesteading life. We discuss subjects like family, parenting, relationships, homeschooling, cooking, canning and so much more.
Two Oaks Farm Talk concerns the more technical side of homesteading. We discuss subjects like gardening, food prep, and farm building and construction with lots of tutorials!
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