Part 5: Teenagers and Trash Talk – Coaching Through Eye Rolls
You’ve made it to the teenage years. Welcome to the fourth quarter of active parenting—where the hormones are high, the patience is low, and everything you say gets met with an eye roll so dramatic it could power a windmill.
This phase is less about control and more about coaching. You’re not calling every play anymore—you’re pacing the sidelines, yelling encouragement (or warnings), and hoping they remember at least 12% of the values you’ve spent a decade drilling into them.
Teenagers: Moody, Magnificent, and Mysteriously Always in the Shower
Teenagers are walking contradictions. They want freedom but forget to change their socks. They crave independence but still ask you where the ketchup is (in the same spot it’s been since 2006). They can give you side-eye sharper than a cleaver but cry at 2 a.m. because someone said something mean online.
And they always seem to be in the shower. What are they doing in there? Solving climate change? Conducting shampoo science experiments? Avoiding algebra?
No one knows.
Teenagers – The Trash Talk Begins
Let’s talk about sarcasm. If toddlers yell with their lungs, teens yell with tone.
- “Whatever.”
- “You just don’t get it.”
- “Everyone else’s parents are cooler.”
- “It’s not that deep.”
If you had a dollar for every dismissive sigh or passive-aggressive mumble, you could afford a weekend retreat. Alone. With snacks you don’t have to share.
But don’t be fooled—behind the bravado, your teen still needs you. They just want you to read between the lines now. You’ve graduated from translator to emotional detective.
Teenagers – Coaching Through the Fog
Your job now is to guide from the sidelines. Teens want to feel seen, heard, and trusted—even if their decision-making is occasionally questionable (looking at you, mullet phase).
Let them stumble (safely). Let them argue (respectfully). Let them discover who they are—even if that includes a brief obsession with existential philosophy and sour gummies.
This is the age where your parenting style shifts from commanding officer to Jedi Master. You offer the wisdom. They decide whether to use the Force.
Game Plan for the Teen Years:
- Listen more, fix less.
They don’t always want answers. Sometimes they just want to vent without judgment (or lectures). - Pick your power plays.
Every battle isn’t worth it. Choose the hill you want to die on—and make sure it’s not over mismatched socks. - Give them room, but don’t disappear.
They’ll push you away while desperately hoping you stick around. It’s confusing. Be present anyway. - Model calm in the chaos.
They’re watching your reactions—even while pretending they’re not. Be who you want them to become.
Bonus Tip for Parenting Teenagers: Don’t Take It Personally
That sigh wasn’t (entirely) about you. That slammed door might be frustration, or hormones, or just a bad day. This, in my opinion, is the hardest part. Try not to absorb it. Be the steady hand on the wheel while their world spins wildly in every direction.
They’re not trying to ruin your life. They’re just figuring out their own.
And one day, after the storm passes, they’ll look back and say thank you. (They probably won’t say it with words, but maybe with a surprise hug or a meme they think you’ll like.)
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👉 Part 6: Halftime Pep Talks – Staying Married While Raising Kids
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