The wedding cake is eaten, the thank-you cards are (mostly) mailed, and the honeymoon glow is slowly being replaced by the dim light of the bathroom left on for the fifth time. Welcome to the first year of marriage — a season of growth, discovery, and the occasional silent standoff over who left the sponge in the sink.
Marriage is a beautiful blend of romance and real-life, and the first year can feel like a boot camp of love. Here’s how to survive — and even thrive — in this exciting, awkward, sometimes hilarious chapter of your relationship.
1. Adjust Expectations: This Isn’t a Rom-Com (But There Will Be Drama)
Movies make it look easy: cue the montages, dramatic kisses, and spontaneous dance numbers in the kitchen. Reality? You’re more likely to argue over how to load the dishwasher (there is a correct way) than slow dance next to the toaster.
It’s important to remember that love doesn’t cancel out daily annoyances. Expect disagreements, miscommunications, and moments where you wonder if your spouse has ever actually listened to you order coffee.
Pro Tip: Don’t expect perfection — aim for grace, humor, and an occasional backup set of earbuds.
2. Money Talks (And Sometimes Yells)
Finances — the great unifier and occasional instigator of passive-aggressive Venmo requests.
Whether you’re combining accounts, splitting bills, or still deciding if “treat yourself” counts as a shared expense, money issues can bubble up fast in the first year of marriage. The key is open communication, honest budgeting, and agreeing ahead of time that neither of you needs five different streaming services.
Humor Tip: Turn budget meetings into “Finance Fridays” with snacks and sarcastic pie charts. It helps.
3. Define “Clean” Early. Very Early.
One of you thinks “clean” means spotless. The other thinks “clean” means the laundry pile isn’t technically moving on its own yet.
Cleaning standards vary wildly between households — and between people who love each other deeply but still somehow can’t agree on what counts as tidying up. Instead of letting resentment fester with every unwashed dish, talk it out early. Create a chore schedule or trade off responsibilities so no one becomes the unwilling resident martyr.
Bonus: Whoever does the vacuuming gets out of folding fitted sheets. That’s the law.
4. Communicate Like Grown-Ups… or at Least Try
Silent treatments, sarcasm, and text fights from across the living room rarely end well. Learning to communicate — kindly, clearly, and without adding fuel to a small fire — is vital.
Use “I” statements, check your tone, and for heaven’s sake, don’t argue when either of you is hangry. That’s just asking for trouble.
Marriage Hack: If you're mid-argument and one of you says something unintentionally funny, laugh. It might just save the day.
A few great titles to help you survive that first year of marriage.
5. Protect the Romance… Even If It’s a Little Clumsy
Between work, bills, and the fact that you now know way too much about each other’s bathroom habits, it’s easy to let romance slide. Fight for it — even if your “romantic evening” is ordering takeout and slow dancing in socks on the linoleum.
Keep flirting. Say thank you. Wear that outfit they like. Leave a silly note. Kiss like you mean it (even if you’re also holding a plunger).
Truth: Romance after marriage isn’t about perfection — it’s about effort and intention, plus a willingness to laugh through the awkward parts.
6. Remember: You’re on the Same Team
The first year of marriage often feels like one long learning curve. But underneath the disagreements and weird surprises is a simple truth: you chose each other. You’re in this together. Your job isn’t to win — it’s to understand, support, and grow.
Celebrate the small victories, talk through the tough stuff, and know that making it through the first year of marriage isn’t just possible — it’s powerful.
Final Thought:
The first year of marriage isn’t the fairy tale ending — it’s the beginning of a wonderfully messy, real-life love story. So stock up on patience, sprinkle in plenty of humor, and get ready for the wild, weird, wonderful ride.
And yes, it’s okay to still argue over how to make the bed — just do it with love. And maybe some throw pillows.
A Life on the Farm is beginning a new series on keeping love alive…even when you feel like strangling it. Join us below and don’t miss one second of spreading the love.
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