Understanding the Challenge of Raising Teens – Staying Sane when Raising Teenagers
Parenting teenagers can be a real challenge – to put it mildly. They are at the age where they want to explore and express their independence, but they don’t always know how to do it in a healthy way.
As parents, it’s our job to understand teenage psychology and behavior so we can provide our teens with the guidance and support they need to make good decisions and help us better prepare for the journey ahead.
With this knowledge, we can foster positive relationships with our teens that will last well into adulthood. That is certainly the goal, anyway. Of course, REALITY likes to rear its ugly head and we have to be able to flow with the situation.
I would be willing to bet good money that NONE of us get it all right, however, if we love our kids and want the absolute best for their future, we have to make a good showing.
The following are some really great tips. Some I got right, and some I’m still learning. It’s ok to admit where we have fallen short, the point is to learn from it and move forward.
Staying Sane When Raising Teenagers – Tip #1
Don’t Take Teenage Behavior Personally
Being a parent of a teenager can be an emotional rollercoaster. It’s normal for teens to act out, push boundaries, and test the limits. But it doesn’t mean that you should take their behavior personally.
Understanding why your teen behaves the way they do is key to effective parenting. With the right strategies and tools, you can help your teen navigate their emotions and learn how to cope with difficult situations in a healthy way.
By understanding teenage attitude, you can better equip yourself with the skills necessary to handle tricky situations with your teen. So don’t take their behavior personally – instead, use it as an opportunity to foster open communication and build trust between you and your teen!
I totally fail at this one every time! When they are acting out toward me – IT HURTS! It feels like I am the subject of their rage. But, I have to remind myself I am not.
Most of the time, they don’t truly even know why they feel the way they do. Something little sets them off and they blow it out of proportion. We have to help them understand that. So tuck your feelings in and lean into logical thought and discussion.
*Try to remember your teenage years and realize they are going through the same things.
Staying Sane When Raising Teenagers – Tip #2
Communicate and Connect with Your Teen Regularly
As a parent of a teenager, it can be difficult to keep up with their ever-changing needs and wants – THEY CAN’T EVEN KEEP UP WITH THEM! It’s important to stay connected and communicate with them regularly to ensure that you are both on the same page. The most important thing that you can do is maintain a healthy relationship with them.
Fortunately, there are some strategies that parents can use to foster meaningful conversations with their teens.
- Set aside time for regular check-ins – big or small
- Use technology as a bridge between generations – cell phones, social media, etc
- Always pay attention to what they are feeling and thinking, even if they don’t share it with you
- Listen without judgment
- spend quality time together, whether in person or communicating through technology
This is an area where I have excelled – though they act like they don’t like it. (Typical teenager stuff) I pay close attention to moods and body language and I always open up channels of communication.
They DO NOT LIKE MOM BEING UP IN THEIR BUSINESS, at least outwardly. However, my grown kids, that made it out of their teenage years, have told me that they were glad that I was nosy. They know that it meant I cared. I
‘ll take what I can get.
Staying Sane When Raising Teenagers – Tip #3
Maintain Reasonable Expectations and Boundaries
As parents, it’s important to remember that setting reasonable expectations and boundaries for our teenagers can be difficult. We want them to be independent and successful, but also need to ensure that they are not overwhelmed by too much pressure.
It’s a delicate balancing act between giving our teens the freedom they need while maintaining a modicum of control over their lives.
We can’t expect our teens to know what is best for them all the time, so we must set clear expectations and boundaries in order to help them make good decisions. And, those boundaries must have consequences when they are crossed.
From the Mom Perspective – It is important to remember that kids can be really stupid and they make really stupid decisions when left completely to their own devices.
Boundaries say “I love you and I don’t want you to make a dumb decision and end up dead or in jail.”
We are their Parents – NOT their friends.
Staying Sane When Raising Teenagers – Tip #4
Remain Calm in Difficult Situations
It’s NEVER easy to remain calm in difficult situations, especially when it comes to dealing with teenagers. Teenagers can often be unpredictable and their outbursts can be hard to handle.
Each teen is different and copes with struggles in different ways. Parents have to be able to deal with each child in the way that is best for that child. There is no one-size-fits-all solution.
My kids would say that I fail here. None of them think that I am ‘calm’, and maybe I’m not, but I’m also not a pushover–which is what they want when they are in a difficult situation.
They want to be in charge.
That will not happen in my house, because, as I mentioned previously—teens can be stupid.
The last thing you want is for stupid to be in charge.
This truly is an area that parents have to figure out individually. Here are a few examples of what I mean:
- A dominant teen that likes to shout may have to be shouted down in the moment in order to get their attention. Once you have their attention, the conversation can go back to a more level volume. …until they start shouting again.
- A teen that clams up and refuses to communicate is a difficult one. Communication is of utmost importance, so communication must be achieved.
- Even if it means following them around, sitting in their bedroom with them, and playing 20 questions until you get them to open up. They won’t like it, but it doesn’t matter.
- They don’t realize that it is what is best for them. You can’t help them if you don’t know what the situation is.
Sometimes, in order to calm the situation down for both kids and parents, a little space is needed – a timeout for everyone concerned. Not to forget the situation, but to consider what needs to be said and then to say it when tensions are a little lower.
As a teenage girl, I would get upset and cry if I tried to verbally explain my feelings to my parents. So, my technique was to write them all down …and slip them under their bedroom door. That way I was able to get my point across and they were able to read it in peace and have some time to think about it before we spoke again.
Staying Sane When Raising Teenagers – Tip #5
Encourage Open Dialogue About Challenges
It’s no secret that teenagers today face a variety of challenges, from self-esteem issues to social and academic pressures. It’s important for parents to create an open dialogue with teens about these issues and help them build confidence in themselves.
By encouraging open dialogue about the challenges they face, we can help struggling teens find the right solutions and strategies for success.
This is an area where I have always been proud of myself. I excel here. I didn’t grow up in a family with complete and open communication – at least not between parent and child. It was a different time.
Because of that, from the beginning, I have always fostered and encouraged complete and full open communication about any subject at all. I always want my kids to know that there is nothing in this world they can’t tell me.
Whether or not they know it, we, as parents, are their lifeline. No one else loves them like we do. No one else will go to the extremes that we will to ensure a happy and successful future for them.
That requires open communication.
Staying Sane When Raising Teenagers – Conclusion
Maintaining a Healthy Relationship With Your Teenager
Yes, parenting a teenager can be challenging, to say the least. But with the right strategies and mindset, you can build and maintain a healthy relationship with your teen, and potentially even staying sane when raising teenagers.
It’s important to remember that teenagers need support, understanding, and positive reinforcement in order to thrive.
By having an understanding between parent and child, you can create an environment of trust and open communication that will help them navigate their teenage years with confidence. With the right strategies for supportive parenting, you can ensure that your teenager feels safe and secure in their relationship with you.
Til next time,
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