Do They Really Know?
I recently saw an engagement announcement on Facebook that read, “I am so happy that I get to marry my best friend”. To be honest, I’ve seen many of them, all saying the same thing.
It’s a wonderful sentiment and, honestly, a terrific way to pick a spouse. I mean, you don’t want to marry someone that you ‘kinda like’ or you ‘tolerate’. Certainly, there’s more involved, but a basis of a strong friendship provides a solid foundation, upon which to build a life.
I sometimes wonder if young people getting married today really have a true understanding of what it means to have a best friend. (I know I didn’t at that age.)
Today, with many years of experience, both good and bad, under my belt, I have a more realistic outlook on what a best friend really is, as well as how it figures into a good marriage. Follow me on this, but stick it out; don’t stop at the beginning, the best stuff is in the end.
What is a Best Friend
The Typical Description
My best friend; he is the person I want to talk to when I need help when I need a shoulder to cry on or arms to hold and comfort me. He is the guy that I lean on when my world gets a little heavy. He is the person I run to when I have great news to share.
He is the person I want beside me during all of those ‘commercial ready’ times like beautiful sunsets and beach walks. However, there is so much more that figures into this equation.
The More Real Description
My best friend is also the person I want to comfort when things get rough for him. He is the person that I want leaning on me when his world gets too heavy (mostly figuratively speaking, he’s pretty heavy, but I’ll find a way to hold him up if I need to.)
He is the person I would most prefer to fight with and for. I may occasionally fight with him, but I would fight to the death for him. Even when he makes me super duper mad, I still maintain my role as his bodyguard. I liken it to my relationship with my little sister. I might get irritated and yell at her sometimes, but if someone else did, I’d rip them apart.
My best friend is the person whose back I will always have, no matter the situation, and I have the utmost faith that he will always have mine.
He is the guy that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I can trust. I know he would never knowingly hurt me and he will always consider me first. And, he knows the same thing. It is unconditional because we trust each other–best friends have trust.
The Down and Dirty Description
My best friend stops in the middle of his video game to come wherever I am and kill a spider for me. (Don’t call me a sissy, I’ll grab a snake or fight a terrorist, I just don’t do spiders.) And I deal with his stinky socks and his hair on the sink or the floor.
I tell him when he goes too far and he tells me the same…seems he has the bigger job here, but I make up for it in other areas. He puts up with my migraines and I put up with his video games.
He sits through the same 5 movies over and over because they are the only ones I like and I deal with his love of stupid movies by doing something else while he watches them with the boys. (Thank God I dodged a bullet on these!)
I deal with his utter love of sleep and he deals with my propensity to always work on numerous projects simultaneously.
Having a best friend means being a best friend.
Similarity Prevails or Opposites Attract?
Throughout the years I have heard many discussions about this very topic. Would you work better with someone who is just like you or more so with someone who is at the other end of the spectrum? Maybe it’s different for everyone, but I’ve had it both ways and for me, it’s all about the similarities!
Kris and I aren’t completely the same…I don’t think the world could take two of me…but we are similar in many areas. Obviously, the biggies… Faith, Family, and Country, we are right in line.
Our political views are the same–thank goodness, because I would hate to have to duke it out every day, I already yell at the television enough.
Our basic interests are in line, but not the same. He’s a bass fisherman, I prefer crappie and catfish. He’s a bowhunter, I prefer lead. He’s a knife-maker and I’m a painter. These little differences certainly leave some area for personal time plus they give us something additional to talk about.
The most telling similarity between the two of us is our line of thought when it comes to each other. The best example that I can give is our wedding vows. When we married, we wrote our own vows to each other, but we decided to keep them secret until the big day, only showing my daughter so that she could see if they were comparable in length.
I will never forget her little smirk and the way she told me that we were going to be surprised, and boy were we ever, along with all of our guests. To be honest, that was my favorite moment of our wedding. You can check out our wedding vows and see just how similar our thought processes were!
The Takeaway
Friendship is not one-sided. It’s a two-way street with push and pull, give and take. You take on challenges together, regardless of what life throws at you. It’s a commitment, one life to another, that takes a lifetime to fulfill.
Of course, this doesn’t just pertain to marriage relationships, the same is true in any friendship. To have a friend you have to be a friend. Give what you take, and then some. You will be rewarded with the deepest and strongest friendships and relationships of your life.
Those commercial-ready moments come along occasionally and are a great bonus, to be sure. I mean what else would you put on Instagram? However, most of the time, being a best friend is about all the little things, the hard things, the yucky things, the weird things, the infuriating things, and the very things that give life meaning.
NEVER MISS A THING
Don’t forget to have a look at some of our other related articles in ourRelationshipssection; Grow a Relationship Based in Honesty, Together; Time Well Spent, Marriage; Making it Work One Fish at a Time.
MORE WAYS TO CONNECT
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